cracking my heart open

As time passes and each precise morsel of contracted memories rises from the ashes, I realise with acute clarity that it’s through these wounds that I find true healing.

🕊

As an incest survivor, the layers keep shedding. The pain doesn’t vanish, in many ways it seems to evaporate and before I know it the hail comes down hard, an impressive storm. Seeming to almost crush me completely, my soul shuddering. The interval between storms becomes wider, each one obscuring and shading different parts of the wound. In many ways enveloping me fully.

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I once heard that this kind of pain is like an onion, the layers peeling away bit by bit. I really thought that at some point it would simply vanish, enough time would have passed so naturally that wound would just go away, but the truth is: IT DOESN’T.

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It fades, it loses its color, its brilliance, but it permeates. It’s deeply nestled in the cells.

♾

The work of Alchemy plays a major role in my process of transmuting deeply-seeded pain into passion, a zest for life: pure gold anti-venom. Then dispersing the vials far and wide. Creating a wave of healing throughout, using the power of my voice and the potency of music.

🎤🔆🎤

It’s not always easy for me to be vulnerable and be open about the sexual abuse I suffered for many years as a child. (I’ll dive deeper into the perpetrator on another post) but I know how incredibly important it is to talk about it. I know for a fact that I’m not alone. It’s my greatest wish as I enter this new era, to be more vulnerable, explicit and join hands with other survivors and their supporters in letting our voices heard as we are propelled by the effervescence of music.

🔊🧿🔊

There’s a voice deep down inside that doesn’t use words, LISTEN. 

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Here’s to cracking our hearts wide open!

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🤍

To YOU, I send all my love!